It was hard. Emotions were raw. I did not cry in front of her, something she did not want. She said she could handle everyone else crying, except me. She said she could hold back tears of all the people that could possibly cry; unless I did. (How do I not cry just hearing that?!?)
So I held in the tears until we pulled away....then they started flowing down my cheek. It was one of those really ugly cries. It's been said we have an *unnatural* relationship for being stepmother/stepdaughter. That I really need to learn to love her as a stepdaughter; that I should not look at her as my own. To these people, I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.
I may not have carried her in my belly; but as long as I can remember I have always carried the dream of having a daughter just like her.
She moved in with us full-time after her senior year in high school. We have always been super close, but this summer our relationship grew even deeper. We would stay up all hours of the night, spend an enormous amount of time together, all the time. So as you can imagine, it was very hard to ship her off to college. Thankfully we've seen her every few weeks. Which is good because my heart can't handle going longer than that.
I miss her like crazy. Love her beyond measure. And blessed to call her mine.
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Happy thoughts from my friends